So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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