it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
