it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
