i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
