It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize