Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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