I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
