Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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