Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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