im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
