she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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