Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
