the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
