I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
