Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
