we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
