I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
