We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
