just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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