He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
even my farts smell like vagina
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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