oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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