come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
operation harelip BJ is a go
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
