Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
