We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
