did you get engaged???
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
