just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
