he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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