just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
last night I used snow as a chaser
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
