Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
