No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize