you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
