So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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