I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
