24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
