Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
