God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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