Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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