We won't sleep together?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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