literally had 100 drinks last night.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
