Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
