id be glad to
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
