i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
