He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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