well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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