We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
