This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
