I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
