are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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