I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
