How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
