great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
