lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i think i have two assholes
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
