you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
