So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
