I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
