She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
