The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
