Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
i need some magic done to my vagina
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
